Lifelore

Friendship is a peculiar thing. Sometimes you hit it off with certain people immediately and know that you will have a lasting friendship. Other times a friendship takes time to develop and time for the 2 people to realize they have common interests. At other times a friendship seems to be established and for one reason or another, comes to an end, whether it be due to different lifestyles, different goals in life, or one or both sides simply “moving on”.

One thing that a friendship can NOT be is one sided. It is exhausting to constantly be the only one in the relationship planning events, reaching out to the other, and simply showing an interest in the other person. After a while, it becomes obvious that the other person is not interested in being an active participant in the friendship. It HAS to be a mutual commitment on both sides.

My husband and I have had many friendships through the years. Some have been lasting and others have dwindled. At the end of certain roads in life, it seems that people always say “we’ll keep in touch” or “let’s get together soon”. We always respond with, “Just let us know when”. We are still waiting for the follow-through on most of those.

My family and I have had the unique opportunity lately to see who truly means those words and who doesn’t. When we were getting ready to move a couple of months ago we had numerous people say: “We’re so sad you are moving, we were just getting to know you”, “we wish you weren’t moving”, “we will miss you so much” and the list goes on and on. For those of you who know us, you already know that we have chosen to delay our move for a short while. The funniest thing is that, since we have made this decision, only a couple of the people who made those comments, have reached out to us. As a friend, you would think that if they were so heartbroken over us leaving, they would have been pretty excited to hear that we are not going anywhere just yet. That obviously is not the case. People think they have good intentions when they make these comments but time and actions prove whether they really mean their words or not.

My point is that friendship is very delicate but pretty easy, also, Treat the other party as you would want to be treated. When you find a great friend, do not take advantage of him/her. Show an interest in their life and always be there for them through thick and thin. Friendship is not about your own personal gain. For example, my husband is very talented and has many different skills. We have found that some people want to use him only for his abilities and what they can get out of him. They pretend to be his “friend” for their own personal advancement, and once they obtain their goal, suddenly their friendship starts to fade away and we do not hear much from them anymore. Friendship should be about helping each other succeed and encouraging one another each step of the way. Appreciate the friends that you have. People can not be replaced and should never be treated as if they could be.

Many people walk around being super lonely. There is always somebody looking for a friend. Our goal should be to reach out to that person and be a friend to them. I love the quote that says “Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life”. If you have a friend that you truly do not want to lose, show them that they are important to you, don’t just tell them. Words mean nothing if there isn’t any action behind them.

This post is not a ploy for people to reach out to us, or to obtain any kind of sympathy. It is to encourage all of us, including myself, to realize how important it is to be a good friend. You are never too old or too young to begin a new friendship or to cultivate the ones that you already have. Life is not easy, but having a good friend nearby certainly helps and can definitely make it more fun!

Written by Kathryn Conrad