This week has been hard. Realizing the dreams and plans that we have been preparing for are not going to happen right now has felt like a punch in the gut! I have said multiple times this week that I feel like Eeyore (from Winnie the Pooh) walking around with a black cloud over my head. Telling neighbors, friends, and family that we are not going anywhere YET has been tough, but the toughest part began on Wednesday evening.
We had rented a storage unit in order to “declutter” and prepare for moving. On Wednesday and Thursday evenings of this week, we emptied that unit out and brought everything back home. Our clean, decluttered, showcase of a house has gotten a bit fuller and our front bedroom looks like one big mess! That has been hard to look at but the most frustrating part is realizing that we are unpacking those boxes here when we had planned and looked so forward to unpacking those items in Florida in our new home.
Exhaustion has also set in. We did not realize how hard and non-stop we had been working until this weekend. I think we were so busy that we did not even realize how tired we were. This weekend, it has hit! I think the whole family could have slept the entire weekend.
We also realized that, now that we have some time to do things that we enjoy, we do not even know where to begin. I LOVE to crochet, but as I have looked over different patterns today, I can not find the motivation to go to the store and purchase the materials that I need to even start a new project. I do not feel like myself quite yet. It is hard when you see yourself in 1 place (in our situation, in Florida) and then things change and you have to reset your vision and focus on some place else.
One thing that we were running short on over the past several months was time. Now we have all of the time in the world (well, almost). It will take some time to accept that we are not going anywhere right now and that is okay. It gives us a chance to reevaluate the things that we really want to do. It will also take some time to unpack the boxes that we planned on unpacking somewhere else, and that is also okay. We will get to it eventually.
Right now we are going to focus on getting our lives back. This week I got groceries for the first time in about 6 weeks. Last night we sat down and watched a movie together as a family for the first time in a month or so. I saw a wonderful quote by Brian Littrell tonight that said, “ On the road of life there are many doors. Some we kick open, some we push, some are locked, and some are wide open….. sometimes it’s the one that you have to knock and wait patiently…. showing your character….”
We have knocked on the door, now we wait patiently for God’s timing for our next adventure.
Written by Kathryn Conrad